And here's why: I have seen 15 of 27 Wrestlemanias. But I guarantee if I watched the other 12, none of them would be as bad as, if I may steal a line, the biggest pile of monkey crap to ever walk God's Green Earth that was Wrestlemania 27.
Let's run it down:
-Anyone see that United States title match? No? THAT'S BECAUSE IT WAS BUMPED. Terrible. They had a four hour show and got eight matches in. Two of them were so short you have to wonder why the wrestlers even bothered showing up. Furthermore, I don't know what the backstage beef is with Sheamus but kicking him off Wrestlemania was wrong and it certainly shouldn't have been taken out on Daniel Bryan.
-Rock starts the show and takes waaaaay too long.
-It was ballsy to start the night with a World Title match, but it was just the first mistake of the night, second if you count the Sheamus-Bryan debacle. The match was a little short but it was still pretty good. Edge won then keyed Alberto Del Rio's car and smashed the windows.
-Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio wasn't bad and I was genuinely surprised that Rhodes won. Good work for a middle-of-the-card match.
-There's nothing good to say about the Teddy Long-Snoop Dogg segment. Waste of five minutes.
-Big Show, Kane, Santino and Kofi vs. The Corre didn't even get past two minutes. Embarrassing.
-Rock has a funny segment with Eve and Mae Young, who asked to see the People's Strudel, then has a confrontation with Stone Cold Steve Austin. 'Nuff said.
-Nothing really stood out in the CM Punk-Randy Orton match. It was an okay match.
-Rock, Gene Okerlund, and Pee Wee Herman have a backstage segment. Another waste of five minutes.
-2011 Hall of Fame class is recognized. No problem there.
-Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole was a little long but went the way it should have, with Cole getting beat like a red-headed stepchild... right until the anonymous "GM" reversed the decision. The crowd is pissed and gets a big time "bulls***" chant going on. I'm pissed because this basically ruined the night for me.
-Different feelings on the Triple H-Undertaker match, which 'Taker won. I personally thought the pace was very slow and the finish was awful. It's pretty clear these two guys don't have much left in them.
-Snooki, Trish and John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler and LayCool was terrible. A four minute match and Morrison and Ziggler did absolutely nothing. Snooki did display some exceptional athleticism though.
-The main event. The Miz comes out to a great entrance. Cena comes out to a decent entrance. Match is barely good enough for a Raw main event. Match ends in a double countout, the Rock comes out, disses the anonymous GM, restarts the match, costs Cena the win, then beats the crap out of Miz. Whoever wrote the ending to that match should be fired.
There's almost nothing good to say about this show. In fact I think it got worse as the night progressed. Poor decision making, poor use of time, poor matches, poor Wrestlemania. Austin and Rock should be embarrassed for participating in such a disaster.
Congratulations Rock, you'll go down in history as the host of the worst Wrestlemania of all time. If you smell s*** it's because that's what you cooked tonight you jabroni.
Out.
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