Completely Unoriginal Christopher Nolan Movie List

Inspired by a list I saw ranking Michael Bay's movies (I can't find it, but The Rock was justifiably No. 1), I decided to watch all seven of Christopher Nolan's major films. You probably won't be surprised by the outcome, so just read the damn thing and enjoy it anyway:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
the movie still sucks.

7. Inception. This film sucks. For all the criticism directors like Bay get for promoting effects over story Nolan, in the context of this film, deserves just as much. On top of that, there's nothing original about it. Inception is just a caper film and to spice it up they put the heist within a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream...heck, I lost track of how many "layers" these people went through.


The saddest part is the great cast. Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Tom Hardy, pretty much every person in the film is a great actor. What a waste.


This reviewer said it best:

But I truly have no idea what so many people are raving about. It’s as if someone went into their heads while they were sleeping and planted the idea that Inception is a visionary masterpiece and—hold on … Whoa! I think I get it. The movie is a metaphor for the power of delusional hype—a metaphor for itself.

Speaking of hype, I have absolutely no doubt that the majority of the hype for this film was a reward for DiCaprio's continued propagandising of global warming. Liberals take care of their friends as long as they stay in line and don't say anything that goes against their idiotic view of the world.

How Following should have ended.

By the way, Gisele, you traded up.


6. Following. You've probably never heard of this film. It's Nolan's first attempt at telling a story out of order but more importantly it got him on the map. This isn't an awful film, though there was nothing that really grabbed my interest. It does show that you don't need a lot of money to be creative.


5. Insomnia. You go to one town where the sun never sets, you go to another one where it never rises and gets messed up by vampires, it must suck to live in Alaska. Oh yeah, Insomnia. With the exception of You Don't Know Jack, this might have been the last film before Al Pacino lost his mojo. Still, it's an interesting movie and Pacino carried the cast, although Robin Williams was pretty good in a role that's quite a departure from his normal stuff. Again, great storytelling from Nolan and co.


Speaking of inception, I'm pretty sure I slept about 10 hours total the week after I watched it. Or is that coincidence?

I tell people all the time they'll never forget something if they write it on their hand. It works for this guy...

4. Memento. Warning: Watching this film may make your head explode. If your head does explode it'll be worth it. Memento, which is essentially Following perfected, gets told forward, backward and every way in between. If you can keep up with it then without a doubt you'll be wowed. If not, then you should take a film class. Or, it's possible you're just like Leonard Shelby which means you're screwed and you have bigger problems.


3. The Prestige. You know you're watching a great film when you put it in at 12:30 in the morning and you're riveted. Has a bit of that Memento feel to it though not as drastic. I'm still not sure which magician was a bigger jerk, but I can tell you I was dying to see which crazy prank they'd come up with next. Oh, and they have wonderful taste in women.


2. and 1. The Nolan Batman films. It says "unoriginal" in the title. What'd you think I was gonna say? Here's a kicker: The first time I saw Batman Begins I was less than thrilled about it.


You already know The Dark Knight is Nolan's best film by a large margin. At least until July 20:

Out.